


Enough

by WitchyBee



Series: Esme Lavellan Oneshots [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyBee/pseuds/WitchyBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A moment of solace in the eye of the storm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

“Josephine and Leliana pushed to postpone the Exalted Council due to my ‘unfortunate circumstances’ but honestly I’ll be relieved to get it over with,” Esme sighs. She looks weary, dark circles under her eyes, which can only means she hasn’t been sleeping again or her dreams have not been peaceful.

Dorian helps her with the complicated array of shiny buttons and silk sashes adorning the standard Inquisition formalwear. Josephine has commissioned several wardrobes full of garments from a seamstress in Val Royeaux with experience in such things, but they've yet to arrive. The less Esme must rely on her friends for assistance doing simple tasks while she adapts to life with one arm, the happier she’ll be.

“What will you tell the Council?” he asks.

“I’m going to throw this at the Chantry delegation,” She holds up Divine Justina’s writ, the document which first granted the Inquisition its authority, “and tell them and the nobles that they can all stuff it, like I wanted to do the last time I visited the Winter Palace.” She pauses. “Then I suppose I will have to apologize to Leliana.”

“I’m sure Divine Victoria won’t take it personally. Andraste preached forgiveness and all that.”

Dorian is surprised to hear she intends to disband the Inquisition. Before the Exalted Council, Esme had been adamant that there’s more good they can do, more work to be done. Of course, that was before a great many things, and if the Inquisition could only go on by submitting to Chantry oversight, well…everyone has their limit. The Magisterium will be pleased. At first.

Esme has turned her back to him now, scrutinizing her appearance in a small looking glass. She turns to face him again, her brow creased in displeasure.

“You know, it wasn’t completely gray before the Conclave,” she says, running her fingers through her coarse hair, which she usually wears up, but that now falls freely around her shoulders. “Wrinkles are one thing, but the hair...”

“We’re all getting older, loathe as I am to admit it," Dorian says. “I found my first gray hair the other week and nearly made a deal with a demon.”

Esme laughs quietly, the trace of a smile on her lips. “And it isn’t over yet. You have to save the Imperium, and I’ve got to save the world. Again. And Solas, too, I hope.”

“You will. There’s no need to doubt yourself, my friend.”

“Oh? I thought you said doubt would keep me sane.”

“When everyone believed you were the Maker’s chosen, yes,” Dorian replies. “Couldn’t let that go to your head. But now? Sanity is overrated.”

“Ah.” Esme nods. “Can you help me with this?” she asks him, gesturing to her hair. Dorian carefully braids it first before pinning it up for her. Esme lapses into silence while he works, perhaps worrying about the Exalted Council.

“I dream about him sometimes,” she confides. Dorian doesn’t need to ask who ‘he’ is. “He’s always too far away and when I reach for him or call out, he disappears. Without the Anchor, I can’t dream with the same clarity, but no demon would elude its prey. Which means either I’m tormenting myself or it’s really Solas.”

That actual son of a bitch, Dorian thinks. What he says is, “Are you all right?” He already knows the answer but maybe she just needs to say it. Everyone has their limit.

“No, not really,” Esme says, her voice small and tired. “In a few hours, I’m going to tear down everything it’s taken us three years to build, and tomorrow I’m going to start building again, despite the fact I’ve no idea who I am without being the Inquisitor. Hopefully someday soon I will convince the man I love that his plan is a mistake before he destroys this world, but I’m terrified it won’t be enough.”

There’s nothing Dorian can say that would suffice. He’s never really seen her like this. In the wake of Clan Lavellan’s slaughter, she’d gone to Solas for comfort. Normally Dorian would offer her a drink–his preferred coping mechanism–but Josephine would kill him if the Inquisitor shows up to the Exalted Council drunk.

All he can do in this moment is embrace his best friend and pray that it will be enough.


End file.
